September 11th

On September 11, 2001 I was 11 years old and in the 7th grade. I missed the first few days of school because I was living in Harlem with my dad but (illegally) attending school in Yonkers. The administration tried to kick my sister and I out of school before school even started. Luckily, they backed off when they realized that my parents were sharing custody and that my mom, did in fact, live in Yonkers. Anyway, I was in a new class and didn’t know any of my teachers or classmates very well. 

On September 11, 2001, my father was on the phone with my aunt. For hours. In fact, when we left for school he was still on the phone with her. We joked that he was going to be late for work at his new World Trade Center job. But he wasn’t worried. Whatever he was talking to my aunt about — most likely my grandfather’s declining health — must have been extremely important because I’d never seen him be late to work. Ever.

On September 11, 2001, I remember eavesdropping on a teacher’s conversation about a plane crashing into one of the Twin Towers. In my mind, I thought “what the hell kind of pilot crashes into a building—he must’ve been drunk.” Not long after, I heard that the second Tower was hit and thought “this was not an accident.” All the while not making the connection that the Twin Towers were the World Trade Center. So I’m sad and confused that someone would intentionally do this but then I heard another student say to a friend “Did you hear about the World Trade Center? It’s under attack!’ 

That’s when it hit me. “My dad works in the World Trade Center.” I start panicking. I wanted to find my sister, I wanted my mom to come get us and I wanted to go home. 

My teacher, bless her heart, was trying to calm me down and get me back into a classroom. That was the first time I cursed out an authority figure. I was going to find my sister, my mom was going to come get us and we were going home. 

Cell phones were not working. School administrators were not allowing middle school students on the high school floor and vice versa. No one’s consolation is working. I’m crying. I’m screaming. I’m pushing security guards out of the way. Nothing is working. 

Then, all in a sudden, I’m with my sister. She must’ve bum-rushed the security guards to get to me. I don’t know what she did but we were together. We walk to the main office and our mom is already there. To this day, I don’t know how we got back to Harlem. I guess we drove. My mind completely blacked out. I probably sobbed the entire way home. I don’t remember. 

Once in the apartment, we just played the waiting game and watched the news, we hugged each other, we prayed, we cried. I don’t remember eating anything. I don’t remember saying very many words. All three of us tried calling Daddy on his cell. Continually. Nothing. 

After what felt like hours, we heard keys at the door and Daddy walked in. He was late for work and when he got off the train, he saw the South Tower fall. Being the person that he is, he tried to get closer to help with whatever he could but the servicemen and women turned civilians away. He walked 9 miles back to Harlem. 

All these years later, I’m still emotional when I talk about this day. Thank God for that long phone call. As I watch all of these 9/11 specials I can only imagine how painful it is for families who lost loved ones on that day. Praying for their continued healing. 

On September 11, 2026, 25 years later, it must be said that what happened on 9/11 is not a justification to hate, persecute, and kill other humans. It did not honor the victims to go into a country—that had nothing to do with the attacks—and rape and kill innocent people and ravage communities. We lost over 3,000 souls on 9/11. We also lost 4,486 US soldiers who died in Iraq, and it is estimated that over 500,000 Iraqis were killed in the war. Perspective.

How many 9/11s have we—as a country—created all over the world?

To what end? 

Causal inference, crisis, and callousness

I like to learn. That’s the main reason I have a PhD and stay in academia. I love an intellectual pursuit. This week, I’m attending a causal inference workshop to refresh my training on quantitative causal inference. Causal inference is the field of knowledge dedicated to understanding if one thing causes another. It’s sounds pretty simple, but it turns out, it’s very complex outside of a highly controlled experiment (think randomized controlled trial) to “prove” causation. Statistically, there are so many confounding variables we have to consider. To use my research area as an example, I’m interested in understanding how guaranteed income influences health. We know that income (but more so wealth, another story to unpack) is related to health. However, because high-income people and low-income people are different in so many other ways (discrimination, diet, occupation, residential location, leisure time, etc.), we need to be able to more effectively isolate the impact of the income to understand its impact on health. So that’s what I’m in the workshop to learn how to do better.

Anyway, on day 2 of a 5-day intensive course on causal inference, the director of the program opened the workshop with a very odd and inappropriate soliloquy—complete with slides—on Israel. To be clear, no other presentation was delivered that did not focus on the methodology we were expecting (and paid) to learn about. My brain took a while to register what was being said because it was so out of place: Israelis are not colonizers. Israelis have nowhere else to go. Hamas is the “cause” of all the pain and suffering in Gaza. Anti-zionism is antisemitism.

While he’s talking, I’m looking around at the faces in the room to see if I’m the only one out of sorts. About 6 minutes into the monologue I raised my hand, giving him much more respect than he gave anyone else in the room. More respect than he deserved, to be frank.

“First, I disagree with basically everything you said. And second, what does this have to do with what we’re here to learn?”  

“Nothing, I’m just using my platform to speak about it as I have done for the past year and as I will continue to do.”

It was an odd exchange. I had one of those moments where you think about all the things you could’ve and should’ve said. Mainly, instead of saying “I disagree with you” I should’ve said “What you said are outright lies and we can go point for point but that’s not why we paid all this money.”  

I was unable to focus on much of the content for the rest of the session because of how my nervous system responded to his crassness. All this while we enter the 22nd month of the US-backed Israeli genocide in Palestine during which the daily atrocities have been extensively documented and observed worldwide. So, I decided to write in response to the lies.

“Israelis are not colonizers.”

By zionists’ own definition, zionism is colonization. See articles NYT articles from 1883, 1899, and 1902. Israel's establishment involved the displacement of hundreds of thousands of Palestinians in 1948 and ongoing military occupation and settlement expansion in Palestinian territories—hallmarks of settler colonialism. Like other colonial projects, it involves domination, land expropriation, and erasure of Indigenous people.

“Anti-zionism is antisemitism”

zionism is a political ideology which advocates for a specific nationalist project. Criticizing it is not the same as criticizing Jewish people nor expressing hatred of Jewish people. Many Jews reject zionism while affirming Jewish identity and opposing antisemitism. On a personal note, much of my own intellectual development related to social justice issues (including and beyond the struggle for Palestinian liberation) is due to being taught and mentored by anti-zionist Jews.

“The food aid problem”

To his credit, he did say that Israel is getting “some things wrong.” The word “some” is doing quite a bit of heavy lifting. To downplay systematic mass starvation—one of many war crimes Israel has committed—as a “food aid problem” is intellectually dishonest and repugnant. One in three people are going days without any food in Gaza and, since Mid-July, at least 16 children under the age of five have died from hunger-related causes. The issue in Gaza is not a lack of food aid, but deliberate obstruction of aid by Israel, which controls borders and restricts humanitarian access. Multiple international agencies have confirmed that trucks carrying food and medical supplies are being delayed, denied entry, or attacked. This is a political blockade, not a logistical failure.

These are just a few. But one of the sneaky lies he told wasn’t said explicitly—it was implied. It was the notion that it takes courage to speak in favor of Israel. As if this was a moment of righteous indignation. As if he was standing up against some great powerful force—instead of at an intensive training program on causal inference. As if Israel doesn’t receive the full financial backing from our government with our tax dollars. As if people who speak out for Palestinian (human) rights are not persecuted, suspended, and denied tenure (i.e., fired) at his very institution and others being abducted, detained, or getting their degrees revoked at other institutions across the country. The reality is: zionism is a settler colonial and white supremacist project. So, supporting it is as American as apple pie.

But maybe he has a point. There seems to be a global downward trend in support for Israel. Two Israeli human rights organizations have finally admitted that Israel is committing genocide. And a new poll showed that adults from countries around the world disproportionately hold negative views of Israel and Benjamin Netanyahu. In the US, specifically, negative viewpoints rose 11 percentage points from 2022-2025. A more appropriate engagement with the attendees who had paid for specific training would have been an exercise estimating the causal impact of perpetrating genocide on public perception. 

To that point, I don’t mind genuine engagement with politics in academic research spaces. In fact, I think we could use more of it. That’s why I asked, “what does this have to do with causal inference?” Meaningful engagement with current events is how I keep students interested in the content when I teach. However, this was not that. It’s telling that we’ve gotten to this place in academic settings. There can be no discussions about the apartheid, the wanton violence, and the human rights violations Israel has inflicted on the Palestinian people for over 75 years. Only proclamations of Israel’s rights—rights that apparently no one else has—and accusations of antisemitism. It’s disingenuous, unproductive, and it’s part of the playbook that has allowed this genocide to continue for almost two years. 

————

During the break, at least 6 people thanked me for saying something. They told me how uncomfortable he made them and how inappropriate his comments were. Hopefully, having seen someone say something will move them to be that person next time.

Children’s reading resources:

Aslan, R. (2024) A Kids Book About Israel & Palestine

Ebeid, R. (2020) Baba, What Does My Name Mean? A Journey to Palestine

Ghanameh, A. (2023) These Olive Trees. Viking Books

Moushabeck, H. (2023) Homeland: My Father Dreams of Palestine. Chronicle Books

Murad, N.L (2024) Ida in the Middle. Crocodile Books

Adult reading resources:

Erakat, N. (2020). Justice for some: Law and the question of Palestine. Stanford University Press.

Khalidi, R. (2020). The hundred years' war on Palestine: A history of settler colonialism and resistance, 1917–2017. Metropolitan Books.

Loewenstein, A. (2024). The Palestine laboratory: How Israel exports the technology of occupation around the world. Verso Books.

Pappe, I. (2024). Ten myths about Israel. Verso Books.

Said, E. W. (2025). The question of Palestine. Text Publishing.